“No way!! And here I pictured you were much purer than that. You are naughtier than you let on. Which boyfriend was it?”He seemed genuinely interested, not in the gossipy sort of way but more in that he would be turned on just hearing my story.“Boyfriend?” It took a moment to realize where he was going with the question and I decided to correct his course. “It wasn’t with one of my boyfriends,” I started searching for the words to explain this story. I had never shared my adventure with anyone else, so I had no rehearsal for what I was about to confess.“It was with my girlfriend and her husband. She’s my oldest friend and there’s always been something there. He’s a really gentle man and I like him. It’s kind of a long story, but they asked me to join them and I did.”David was intent on my speaking. His mouth was still slightly agape. He waited long enough to realize I figured I was done and looking for the next conversation topic. Apparently he wasn’t done listening to the. On the black days, everyone told me that they felt my pain. The more experienced ones said it would always be with me, but fade in time. They were wrong. It was as fresh as it had always been, as fresh as the falling snow. Four years had passed, but the silence was still there. Steven would be twelve now and could have joined me on my climb up the snow-covered peaks of the Scottish highlands. You were always too scared of heights, but he was taking after his father in that respect. I hadn’t listened to the weather report. The blizzard-like snowfall took me by surprise. There was a shelter not far from here, I had seen it on one of my previous ascents. The icy wind and the thick snow was blinding me, I stumbled and fell, slipped down the slope and bumped my right leg painfully into a rock. Of course it was madness to attempt this ascent alone and with minimal gear. Of course I knew that there was a good chance to die. Maybe it was an attempt at suicide, trying to tempt fate to reunite.
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